Being in recovery from an eating disorder is pretty shitty this time of the year.
The Diet Culture bandwagon is rolling through, ehm, everywhere.
And Instagram/Facebook/Twitter make it oh so easy to detach from your beautiful life and compare it to that of an image.
This is how my last few weeks have gone.
While reflecting on my own quiet holiday compared to the extravagant brigades of friends and strangers- I often feel like I am lacking in so many areas. Often this season creates a lot of these stories:
“I’m not as pretty as _______”
“They are having more fun than I am”
“______ has such a glamorous life”
“I haven’t done something amazing in the 3 days of 2019, might as well call the year of progress off”
“I’m not worthy of creating a successful business”
“I’ll never achieve the quality of life I dream of”
And this is where I am now.
WEEKS after buying into these thoughts. I didn’t even realize in the moments that I was being such a jerk to myself-but today I am able to be like “ah, okay Lydia, not the kindest stuff to say to your badass self”.
The stories, those toxic ones up there, are so much easier for me to think about rather than actively putting in the effort to challenge those stories. Since I rarely practice this in my head, I will do it here in order to remain accountable for creating change in my life (and my story).
“______ is pretty and I am quite the stunner myself”
“They look like they are having fun and I am enjoying this episode of Downton Abbey tonight-drammmma!”
“____ is living such a glamours life - I cannot wait to be living my version of a glamorous life, too”
“Small efforts each day can create large moments later on - a year might not be long enough to create what you imagine - keep it UP!”
“Why not me? Am I passionate? Yes. Am I willing to be persistent? Yes. Am I willing to do the work? HELL YES.”
“Who do you think you are trying to predict your future, Lydia?! Believe in your passion, please.”
I am anti-resolution this year, but a goal for myself in the month of January is to reframe these hurtful stories and change them into ambition-fueled magic machines of dream creating. Hoping that you will allow yourself to recognize and reframe the stories that you, you brilliant author!, are writing for yourself.
I feel quite certain that you are living a life that someone out there is day dreaming about. It might be the city you live in, the pet you have, the job you hold, or the trendy AF holiday outfit you rocked this season. Don’t give up on yourself because it’s not where you want to ultimately be. You’re getting there.
And so am I.
With the most loves & hugs,